Do you have a sibling? Do you love them (hint: your answer here should be yes)? Maybe you guys talk for hours on the phone daily (guilty). Maybe you guys don’t talk at all (been there too). Maybe you are an only child and enjoy the sole attention of your parents (that’s okay too).
1. First and Foremost, You Should Teach Your Child to Get Along With Others
This includes sharing, being respectful, respecting other people’s space and belongings, etc. I think this first foundation is the key to happiness. Okay, so it’s a nice thought. I realize things are not always going to be perfect around the house. Living with someone day in and day out gets exhausting…and they get annoying (just think of your husband).
However, if we can set those boundaries and that respect early on your children will learn what’s theirs is theirs, and what’s their sister’s is their sister’s. Maybe your child is just annoyed with their sibling and doesn’t want to be in the same room as them. That’s okay too. Everyone needs personal space, and it’s okay to remind them of this. It’s called respect.
2. Help Them Learn to Express Themselves
I am not talking about fighting and yelling to solve a problem. Again, this goes back to the respect thing. Talking about their feelings and how their sibling made them feel is healthy. This should actually be taught VERY early on. They should have already been taught how to express themselves without whining and yelling about it.
3. Don’t Ever Tell Your Child to be More Like One of Their Siblings
Just don’t. This causes tension, resentment, and self-doubt in your children. These just sets your children up for failure with the whole “getting along” thing. Just don’t do it!
4. Spend Time With Each Child Equally
Okay, first I want to say I fall short of this daily. We just had a baby (March 5, 2018), so my time is mostly spent with the baby. My 5 year old is so patient about it though. I make sure when I have my daughter I am also giving my 5 year old enough love too. I make her feel included in what I’m doing with the baby. When my husband gets home from work though he is the one with the baby. Then I can spend the rest of my time with our daughter. I remember she was our sole world. She was the only child. We did things like read stories every night together. I would snuggle in bed with her. We would take random trips out in to town to do fun things. Now I am limited because of the baby. We are just now getting back to that routine.
Try to find something each child likes to do that makes them feel special and do it.
5.Show Each Child Respect by Giving Them Their Own Space
I realize having more than one child means sometimes they’re sharing a room. That is fine. Just make sure in that room each child has their own space to go to. When there’s an argument have each child pick a spot in the house to have as their “space” for temporary personal time.
I hope this was informative for everyone. Please let me know if there is something you do that is super helpful that I did not mention (I know there’s still tons).
Recently, I was asked to bring in a money saver tip for one of our Sunday school classes for adults. I have compiled a list of our favorite things to do. I am sorry if a lot of these are local, but I am sure there is something that is comparable that is local to you as well.
1. Check your local library for library programs.
This is my go to source for family fun about 90% of the time. The programs at your local library are ALWAYS free. You can’t beat that!
2. Go to your local zoo or museum.
We have a local zoo that is free admission. I know if you go to a local museum or your state museum a lot then investing in a membership would be a great choice as well.
3. Sign up for your local parenting newsletter.
Where I live we have what’s called “Macaroni Kid”. It’s a parenting newsletter (free!) that has a list of local things to do with your family. It says what it is, where it’s at, and how much it costs.
4. Check your local theater for plays.
There is a local theater here that sells tickets for on the cheap. They have kid’s productions as well.
5. Check your local high school for plays as well.
Around here we have about 4 different local high schools. They are always holding plays. Check with the high school about upcoming plays and ticket prices.
6. Have a fun picnic at the park.
This one is always a hit at my house. No matter how many times per a week we go to the park and have a picnic it is always a fun adventure for them.
7. Some local businesses have free family days.
Around here there are local businesses that are so much fun, but are a little pricey to do regularly. Thankfully, they hold free family days to allow the local community to come out and try their facility out. We have a jump park, gymnastics gyms, museums, etc that have a monthly or semi-annually free family day.
8. Check your local movie theater for free or cheap matinees.
Here we have a local movie theater that does fall and spring matinees. If you sign up for their rewards program, which is free and free of fees, then you can get in to the movies for free.
I am over 30 years old. I have learned so much out of life already. I know I am not 50 or 60 where those people have learned SO MUCH more than myself. P.S. Listen to those people. They could teach you a thing or two.
On my 30th birthday I remember being very upset that I past my “prime” as it were in my eyes. I felt like I was really getting old. I was pregnant, moved to a new city, and facing financial crisis slowly. We still owed on our home that was in another city, and we were making payments on our new home. We had to keep utilities on at both houses. Life just did not seem to be going well for me or my family. My daughter was having issues at her old school to the point that I had to pull her out of school too. There was just so much going on in my life, and it was overwhelming (to say the least).
I remember thinking “If I knew what I know now what would I have done differently in my life? Why did we allow ourselves to put ourselves in this mess?!” I am not a big fan of “Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda”.
However, here are 5 things I wish I would have known before I turned 30 years old.
1) Go through Financial Peace University and make the changes you dummy!
I promise you I am not making this stuff up. I wish I would have started Financial Peace University a long time ago when my husband tried to get me on board. We would be sitting in a debt free home, with retirement already starting to build up, and being a millionaire would only be a few years away. We would have been able to say confidently that we can send our children to college debt free. We would have been able to say we are making more money in investments than we do yearly working our regular jobs.
I am telling you THIS IS NOT A SCAM. IT WORKS!
2) Choose the career path I wanted…not the one that fell in to my lap.
I went to school for nursing. I graduated, and I was so proud of myself for doing this with a child at home. I couldn’t wait to start working. I was immediately offered a position in a pediatric clinic because that is where I did my clinicals. I knew going in to it that the department had issues. I never thought they would be as bad as they were. It was truly a hostile work environment that I had a little PTSD from working in it. I went to a different company and a different department all together after that. I worked Internal Medicine after that, and I loved it.
But my point really is was it really worth going to school for? I am an at home mom now. I work online teaching. Yes, I needed ANY degree to get hired to do this. I also only PRN for that company I switched to. I have only gotten called in about 5 times in the last 2 years, and I haven’t even been able to go in because of my children. It’s been a constant conflict in my life that I am sure I will soon give up.
Was it worth it for me to go to school and spend that much in student loans only to be an at home mom now?
3) Having kids when I am older is so much easier than when I was younger.
When we had our oldest child I was 25 years old. I thought for sure I was ready to take on those parenting responsibilities. I had seen other people be parents and screw up one way or another. I swore I would never be like those parents. I can honestly say I am still NOT like those parents. But I struggled with my daughter in other ways. I had postpartum depression and I was struggling every day. She was colic and not sleeping at night. I was also going to school and working part-time. I really struggled emotionally with being a new mother.
When I had my youngest I was 31 years old. I just had her, and being a parent to a newborn again has not been as bad as it was the first time around. I did not develop postpartum depression. The only time I found myself crying for no reason and feeling down was when I was in the hospital after I had her and my oldest daughter was at home with my husband. I was so sad to leave her for that week. It was a healthy sadness though. It was not depression.
I think the older I get the more calm and aware of things I am. I find that the things that upset me when my oldest was a baby doesn’t bother me as much with my youngest. I feel like I have a more calming mindset now. I wish we would have waited a couple years before conceiving our first baby.
P.S. I LOVE BOTH MY DAUGHTERS, AND I WOULDN’T CHANGE ANYTHING!
4) Be thankful to God every day for everything we have, and everything we don’t have.
A long while ago I was having serious doubts about a lot of things in my life. It was starting to affect my relationships around me. One day my husband and I decided enough was enough with our issues. It was time to let the good Lord guide our life again. We needed Jesus in our life again. We started going back to church. One day there was a sermon about being thankful. They discussed all the miracles that Jesus had performed and how thankful those people must have been. Some were not allowed to tell. Some were told to tell everyone.
It got me thinking about my life and all that God has done for me and my family. I stopped and thought hard for several days. I opened up my Bible, and I studied. I prayed A LOT! It made me realize I needed to be thankful for everything that God has blessed us with. It made me more appreciative of our life and everything we have in it. It made me more secure in my relationships with my peers and my husband. It also helped our marriage become stronger. It felt as though there was a weight that was lifted off of me because I knew God was with me.
Go to church!
5) Do my personal best in everything I do, and don’t worry what others think or say to me.
This one is a loaded one. This has several meanings for me. My husband and I don’t have a fantastic support system. We have had to brave everything out on our own. We figure stuff out like adults. We have been told several times not to do something, or that we can’t do something because of various reasons. We like to prove people wrong. We like to work extra hard to make way for our life to get better.
I have been told several times HOW to parent my child and that I am not a good mother. That hurts. I have been told I am a terrible nurse by my peers before. I have been told I am immature or ridiculous.
This is the reason I do everything with my personal best. I know people say these things to hurt me. I have learned that these statements are false and do not define me.
If I took everything too personal then the things people say about me would, in fact, define me. I wish I would have figured this out sooner. I wish I would have not let the hurtful things my family and friends have said to us get to me like they used to. We have learned to remove ourselves from other people’s lives. We have children now. It is important for them to see that we, as a team, do not allow people to say and treat us a certain way.
TO MY READERS: WHAT DO YOU WISH YOU KNEW BEFORE YOU TURNED 30? 40? 50? 60? MAYBE EVEN 70?
Right now I am 20 years under this goal. How old am I? Well, sorry. I am not going to tell you that. However, just know that I will be under the retirement prime age. I will have 1, maybe 2 children in college, and I will have been married 30 years.
How old will you be in 20 years?
So what do I want to accomplish in 20 years? Let me tell you…
Financial Wealth Building
As a mother of two daughters I want nothing more than for them to achieve and reach every dream and goal they set their mind to. In order for that to happen we need to make sure we are able to give them every opportunities available.
There are so many things my husband and I need to do to get our financial situation on an upward building wealth path. Let me share with you our new and exciting path. We are using the Financial Peace Program set forth by a man named Dave Ramsey.
I would like to be building wealth 15 years from now. 20 years from now I want to be sitting in a healthy financial situation where my children are not worrying about student loan debt. I want to make sure they aren’t worrying about money.
New House Built and Paid For (CASH) on Wooded Land
In 10 years from now we will have paid off our 15 year mortgage. I would love to be able to sell our house, and pay for land and a new house. I would really LOVE to be able to build a new house. We may have to settle for an already existing house on some land. I would not mind either way honestly.
Build a Big Retirement Nest
With the steps we are following in our financial journey in 20 years we will have a financial retirement nest that is making more a year than we make as a household in a year. That will be a very nice retirement nest for when the time is right.
Both My Daughters be in College Debt Free
I would love nothing more than both my girls to go to college. We are very educationally motivated in our home. Academics is important. I hope that my daughters continue their education after high school. My oldest always talks about wanting to be a Dr of some sort.
When I was little (like her age) I always talked about being a Dr or a nurse. I told everyone that when I grow up I wanted to be like my Papa (grandfather) and be a Dr who delivers babies. Here I am today working in the medical field. Therefore, I am convinced my oldest will be in the medical field in some capacity.
Be Successfully Acclimated Back in to the Medical Field
This one is a goal in the stance of a possibility. I would like to be back in to the clinic working part-time. I would also not mind working PRN. I would love to work in an income based clinic helping the community in need of healthcare.
I have compiled a list of either free or very cheap ideas to do with your child/ren. I am a huge fan of “Let’s take off and do something fun today.” I especially was able to do this before my daughter started kindergarten. I know so many moms and dads out there that don’t do anything with their children all day except get on social media and complain about not doing anything with them. When I suggest things there’s always a reason why they can’t do anything. Today I am stopping that. Also, don’t forget to tailor these ideas to your child’s age.
For my Indiana Residents I have included links below for you.
If you live in another state or area (country) please feel free to comment below with links in your area. I would love to know what’s out there, and I know fellow readers would love to know what’s in their area as well.
1)Go to the Park and Have a Picnic
Going to the park is one of the single most fun things that my daughter loves to do. It gives her a chance to get her energy out, we get out of the house, and I don’t have to engage too much if there’s a lot of other children playing at the same time. Don’t get me wrong I love playing with my daughter, but on days where I need my space the park is a great alternative. I’m still spending time with my child, but we get to spend some time being parallel. We bring a sack lunch and eat at the picnic tables. Then we clean up and go play. It’s free and easy.
If you are not close to the park and live in the country then having a picnic outside is also a great alternative. We lived in the country at one point and when I didn’t feel like driving in to town to go to the park we had a picnic outside on a blanket. Then afterwards we would play on the play set together, or my daughter would run around the yard. She also would get out chalk, her bike, her power wheels dune buggie, etc.
2)Go to the Zoo, Petting Zoo, or Aquarium
Where we live there is a free zoo in town. It has mostly petting zoo animals. It also has some pretty cool animals like bald eagles, prairie dogs, and wallabies. If you are looking to get out of the house and go do something free see if there’s something like this in your area. There might be a free petting zoo. There might be a free zoo. We also live close enough to our state’s capitol where they have an actual zoo. It’s huge. We live about an hour away from that zoo. If you find it’s going to be costly look in to their programs. They have certain days dedicated to being “free” or “discount days.” Also, check if they offer discounts to military families, teachers, police officers, firemen, or
veterans. Check with your work as well. They might give you a discount. My work offers discounts including our big zoo. The price cut is really helpful. You really can’t beat it.
3)Go to the Local Museum, State Museum, or Interactive Children’s Museum
Again, we have fantastic museums in our state downtown of the capitol. We’ve actually been to a few in Indianapolis. There are a ton of cheap museums that are great for all ages. The Children’s Museum of Indianapolis is pretty costly. However, if you look for their “free days” and “discount days” you can get in really cheap (especially on the free days because they’re free). Check out your state museum as well. Usually those kind of museums cost next to nothing and they have something for all ages.
Also, there is a very cheap, local museum for children close to us. It’s like $4/person to get in. They have a ton of hands on learning. I’m sure there’s something like this in your area too.
4)Go Shopping, Run Errands
Okay, this one might seem lame, but I’m telling you little ones just want your time and attention. They don’t care where you go or what you do. Do you have groceries you need to get? Maybe you need to go run some errands around town? Take your child/ren with you! They just want to feel included.
If the mood strikes maybe buy them a toy while they’re out. They will most certainly behave if there’s something in it for them. My daughter loves going places with me. She even loves getting groceries with me because she likes to get the items off the shelf for me and put them in the cart. She feels like such a helper. When she was a lot younger she loved going and sitting in the front to watch all the people go by. She loved just spending time with me and talking with me.
5)Do a Craft: paint, color, glue a bunch of stuff together
I love this idea the best so far. I’ll tell you why: My daughter is so imaginative. She loves to paint. She also loves to just glue random stuff together. Now let me explain more in depth. We have sequins and toilet paper rolls and little stickers, etc. She loves just taking glue and gluing stuff to a piece of paper or construction paper from our craft supply box. It is very monitored and very fun to watch her mind work. She also loves to paint. Yes, I know paint is messy. But it’s really not. You just have to rinse out paint brushes, and wipe down your table. Put a paint smock or something like that on your child and throw it in the wash afterwards. Easy clean up.
6)Play Some Games
Again, this is a perfect example of how you should tailor these ideas to your child’s age. A baby is not capable of playing a board game. A toddler, absolutely. A bigger kid is more than capable of playing a game. With a baby play simple games (peek-a-boo, tummy time, etc). A toddler loves playing games. It’s a great opportunity for them to learn to take turns and that everything has rules. Don’t discredit this idea yet.
Sometimes it’s just a great idea to go outside. My daughter loves being outside when someone is outside with her. She will play by herself with her toys as long as I’m outside with her. I can catch up on a book, or give her ideas while she’s playing. It’s really up to you how you want to play outside with your child. Being outside is also very calming. It helps both mom and child. Is there a play set outside? Great! Go play on it with her. No play set? That’s great too. Get the chalk out and create something fun.
8)Go See a Movie or Go to a Play
I love our free movie matinees. Whenever our local movie theater is having them I make sure I take our daughter. We also have a lot of theaters in town that do kid friendly shows. You might be thinking “My kid is 2. There’s no way I’m taking them to a show.” Actually, I found the earlier I took my daughter the earlier she learned to behave in that sort of an environment. I always made sure we sat on an end seat so she could wiggle and we sat in the front row of a section so there was no one in front of us. Again, so she could wiggle without bothering anyone. Now she’s 5 and she truly appreciates the fine arts of plays.
You also have the option of creating a movie theater in your home if you do not want to go out. Pop a movie in and pop some popcorn. I like to go to our local super store and buy a $5 movie. Then buy snacks (healthy snacks). We then go home and have girls time stuffing our faces and watching a cheap movie. You can also find $1 movies too at your local super store.
This might seem like a silly one too. Let’s be honest though, who does NOT like to play play-doh still? If you say no you’re lying. Create something fun with your little one. Create something silly, or give your child an idea to create something and see how their imagination works. Where does that idea you gave them drive their brain to? Play play-doh and find out.
10)Bake Something Yummy
Baking something yummy is always a great idea. My daughter loves to help me in the kitchen. I’m sure your little one will too. She puts on an apron and grabs a stool. Then she climbs on up and asks what all she can help with. I gladly let her help me. An extra set of hands in the kitchen is always helpful. Just keep in mind about hot stoves, pans, ovens, sharp knives, etc. I would even be cautious about the mixer. I let my daughter practice measuring and then I let her dump it in the mixer. She also loves helping to decorate cookies. Never discount this idea either. Again, tailor it to your child’s age. Here is a great article about cooking with your child at any age.
Find Something Fun:
Don’t let bad weather ruin your plans. Don’t let being lazy get in the way of being with your child. You don’t get these years back. Just remember that. Be sure you tailor all your ideas to be age appropriate for your little one.
Also, don’t forget to check out my links below if you are an Indiana resident. If you are not please comment below the fun things to do in your area to help other moms and dads.
Hi Medical Mama fans and followers! Before I get started make sure you go to the bottom and give a shout out. I would love your thoughts and comments.
Today we are going to talk about teachers. We ALL know how important teachers are for our community. We ALL know how important teachers are to our children. We know this, but why am I going to talk about it?
Here are a few key points I want you to know:
Confidence is something so important for a child. This is almost the entire base for their life as an adult. Confidence is key. They can learn confidence through education. Teachers encourage confidence and nurture it in every day activities. They help them by cheering them on and working with them so they don’t doubt themselves anymore. They learn to not doubt themselves when trying to find that answer to the really hard math problem, or how to spell that really hard word to get extra points on their spelling test. Another great example is their reading abilities. Most kids struggle at reading out loud because they are worried about how others will judge them. A confident child will sound out words and keep moving along with confidence.
This helps them dream and reach for their goals. Does your child want to be a doctor or lawyer? Is your child successful in what they do? Thank a teacher for that!
This seems like the obvious choice to elaborate on. It’s not. What do I mean by education? I mean your child’s education of how strong or behind they are. Does it get recognized? Does your child need a little extra time with things?
Your child’s teacher stops and helps those who are falling behind (or they should be). They help your child learn. They help them get the education they need to be successful human beings. I am telling you the one teacher who makes a difference and helps a child realize their passion is the one worth mentioning.
I keep going back to this. I honestly believe a child succeeds in life from a great teacher (and a great set of parents at home obviously). If you get that ONE great teacher they make all the difference in the world. Being set up for success in the classroom carries with them throughout their entire academic career, including life choices.
How our children form friendships starts early on. It starts in social settings like daycare and school. Teachers strive to make sure all the kids are included. They help the one kid who’s unsure of themselves sitting in the corner by encouraging them to find a friend. They help the classroom become a bonded unit by doing activities together and forming a close nit family away from family.
5) Home Away From Home
Speaking of family away from family-teachers do just this. They spend so much time with our children that they can tell you your child’s weaknesses and strengths. They can tell you what excites them and what scares them. They know what makes them tick. I bet they could even tell you what foods your child will absolutely not eat too. They know what makes them cry, and how to make them feel better.
Teachers are so overlooked and underappreciated. We as parents sometimes forget that it is a teacher/parent relationship with our children. It’s not just a parent/parent, or teacher solely by themselves helping our children be active members of society. I would be ignorant to think that my child is as successful as she is from just me alone. I have help from the wonderful teachers she has had in the past.
To My Readers: How do you view teachers? What do you agree or disagree with? Is there a special teacher you would like to give a shout out too?
Okay, before we get started I just want to say the only reason I’m writing this is because I feel so passionately that people should be researching what they believe. There’s so many hot topics out there right now. Some include breastfeeding and formula feeding, vaccinations and autism, co-sleeping, the presidency and the election, sex and gender, gun control and schools, etc. I see so many people flock to social media to post their side of what they believe. We all constantly re-post an article we see that fits towards our bias opinion. How do you know what you’re posting is a real stance though? Do you actually have a leg to stand on?
The Medical Mama always does her research. My articles are fact based articles. Not opinions. I use credible sources and sites to back up what I’m saying. In this article I am going to teach you the same thing. How do you spot opinion articles claiming to have “facts” verses ones who actually use credentials to back up their facts?
How to Tell Quality Information V.S. Bias Opinions
Resources and credentials!
Resources and credentials are not always an easy thing to find. The biggest things you need to look for are resources and credentials. If you are researching something about cars and it starts a sentence with “According to a backyard mechanic in Nebraska….” or “According to a guy who has a love for cars…..” you probably should not consider that a reliable source. I also want to set the record straight that backyard mechanics are intelligent and I have nothing against them. They don’t drive credentials to articles though. You will want to look for things like “According to a certified mechanic from (insert body shop here)….” (Montgomery College Libraries., 2017).
What Kind of Studies and Fields Should I Be Looking For?
Another one people argue a lot is when they are researching a topic on medical information. They will find an article starting “According to a study by (insert name here), a nutritionist,….”. This is not a reliable source. Sorry. You will want to look for things like do they have a doctorate degree? What is their field of study? How did they conduct their study? If it was from a university or a hospital (depending on what your topic is) then that is a great place to start. If the content explains the study was done at a church, a home, a backyard (you understand what I’m getting at), etc. then these are not great places to start accepting their findings.
Let’s stop and think what qualifies people to be “experts” in their fields. You’re going to look at the profession. Look at the qualifications. If they have a bunch of credentials at the end of their name that support the subject you are looking at then yes, that’s a reliable source. If they have a job that anyone off the streets can get then probably not a reliable source (Library and Learning Commons., 2018). Basically, does what they’re writing about match with their experience and education? Does it match their profession?
Where do I start looking for sources?
DO NOT USE WIKIPEDIA. Sorry, just don’t. Did you know anyone can search for something on Wiki and edit the content? I can. You can. Everyone can (Wikipedia., 2018). Just don’t use it for sources. They’re not reliable.
Some great sources are well known magazines. This includes New York Times Magazine, Huffington Post, Wall Street Journal, etc.
Let’s say you want to look for parenting articles to help you with your medical questions/concerns. Parents.com and Today’s Parent are great sources. You wouldn’t read something about beauty blogs if you were looking for parenting information, right? Same thing goes for any other topic you are researching.
Social Media Re-Posts
I very much encourage everyone to stop and read the articles you are re-posting (sharing) to your social media.
Did you open the article and read the whole thing?
So many people don’t read the full article of something they are sharing to their social media. Read the article. Is it fact based? Or opinion based? What sources are they using? How does that play in to your opinion? Will you get upset when there’s no credentials and someone notices?
I’ve had people read my articles and just read 2-3 sentences. They then get upset with what they read instead of reading the whole article. They just see one thing and take it out of context. Don’t be that person please.
Are you posting it because it fits with your opinion (which is fine).
It’s fine to post something simply because it fits your bias opinion. We all do it. I do it. However, I open up the article and read the whole thing. I look for the credentials. What “foot” does this person have to stand on who wrote this article? Are they qualified to be writing this information? I always stop and think if I post something that does not have any facts or credentials to back up what I’m saying how will this impact my credibility as a person? How does this impact my audience as a writer?
Don’t Fall in to the Random Social Media Postings. Check Your Facts Before Posting. Check Your Facts While Researching.
Don’t forget to fact check articles. Do they have credentials? What qualifies them as professionals? What are others going to get out of this article? How does this article affect me?
Make sure your sources are reliable. Where did you get your sources from? Again, qualifications are important. Remember that just because an article fits with your opinion it is not always the right article to back up your opinion.